This past Sunday I celebrated my 41st birthday. It was low key, just me and my boyfriend and it was great. He surprised me at work with flowers! It was the first time he got me flowers and it meant the world to me that he was so thoughtful.

We went to Goodwill and an indoor flea market to look for treasure, I got a yummy chocolate covered banana because all the ice cream places in our town are closed on Sunday. Crazy I know! How do they make money??

I digress.

I don’t really drink, and we don’t have ton of options for things to do here besides things that include going to bars, so the best option was just doing our favorite things and making a dinner together at home. So that’s what we did and I loved it 🥰 .

I use to feel like I NEEDED to go out and party, and drink, and dress up to have a real birthday celebration, but the older I get, the less important those things are to me. When I was single, it was all I wanted to do. Dress up, look hot and maybe meet someone. I would drink with my friends every weekend, do karaoke, and stay up too late. I did this regularly.

I had a few crappy relationships and let guys mistreat me because I was too scared to say what I wanted. Then I went through a rough break up. At that moment I decided that was it. I started working on myself internally and I took a while off of dating and just hung out with my friends. I walked my dog at the park, exercised, taught myself headstands in my room, and told the universe what I wanted. I had these conversations with myself daily and I really started to change. I was feeling so good!

Then one day I finally did meet someone. He was everything I’d ever wanted in a partner. He was kind, and thoughtful, generous and not to mention the cutest thing I’d ever seen. We went out with my friends at first but we eventually started working night shift and couldn’t participate in all the festivities very often. Then the pandemic happened. And the world was closed.

During that time, our relationship thrived, we fell more in love, moved in together, and have been together since. Now all the partying doesn’t even seem fun to me, because I think I’ve gotten it all out of my system. I am ready to just be myself and not try to “impress “ anyone, and do things to try to get someone to like me. And that makes me like me even more. Looking back at my life and how I use to think of the world, of relationships, and how I let people treat me… makes me cringe.

I like myself and am MORE myself now than I have ever been, and that’s the best part about being in your 40s if you ask me. You just don’t give any shits about things that don’t matter.

I will still dress up and want to look hot when the even arises, but I don’t feel like I need to do it is the difference. I just do it because it makes me happy, and I love how confident a cute outfit and a winged liner makes me feel! I guess this is growing up!

I am so happy that I took the time to get to know myself, and give myself time to learn what I want before I met the love of my life. It made me a better partner and a better person. It’s never too late to make changes that will make your life better and make you happy🥰.

🖤Shauna